When nothing is “wrong”…

Matrescence: a holistic change during the transition to motherhood that encompasses multiple domains — biological, psychological, social, political, spiritual — and can be likened to the developmental push of adolescence.

There is huge space between the Instagram “perfect” mom and being in the throes of postpartum depression. Normalizing motherhood as the wild, beautiful, messy, complicated, joyous, terrifying and complex transition that it is allows moms to recognize that needing support is not a failing, it’s stepping into your healing power.

The adjustment to parenthood is tough, even with the best supports and workplaces that provide appropriate parental leave, the transition into motherhood deserves a held space. In the world of mental health which is built primarily on the medical model of there having to be something “wrong” in order to justify care, we often forget about the importance of mental wellness. Even if you aren’t experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression, as a new parent you are balancing:

  • Shifting identities and losing your sense of self

  • Complex feeding journeys that feel anything but “natural”

  • Division of labor in the home

  • Stress about milestones

  • Competition for your time

  • The unseen mental load of motherhood

  • Emotional regulation

  • Balancing the needs of multiple children

  • Conflict in your relationships

  • Lack of intimacy and connection

  • Overstimulation- being “touched out,” all of the noise

  • Mom Rage (which can sometimes be a sign of something else brewing but often is just the result of unmet needs and expectations)

  • Navigating a return to work

  • Toddlers…just toddlers in general

  • Family dynamics and boundary setting…and in-laws

  • Lack of independence

  • How the heck do you find mom friends?

  • Grieving your former life

  • Mom Guilt, shame and perfectionism (embracing the idea of being a “good enough” mom)

  • Real self care (and we’re not talking about just a bubble bath here, we are talking about sustainable shifts in prioritizing the way you care for yourself)

“We act as if parenthood is this thing that a person just comes upon in the path of their life, this glittering gemstone that’s been sitting there in its place all along. When really, this brilliant gem has been forged through heat and pressure and time. And it is us. By ignoring this reality, we let so many parents down. We fail over and over to give them the support they need. And we also fail to hold a place for them, to see in them all that this transition can mean, all they stand to gain in making it.”

- Chelsea Conaboy, Mother Brain: How Neuroscience is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood